The Secret Life of Earl Johnson II
Posted by Eric Nielson on September 15th, 2008“You have no business helping the Millers move at your age. You will probably just hurt your back, and get in the way.” Earl’s wife instructed.
“No I won’t”, Earl protested, “and I want to help them.”
“I am sure they have plenty of help, Earl.”
“But you don’t know that!”
“I will call Sister Miller right now, and see how things are going.”
She marched off to get the phone. Earl raised his hands to protest, and almost said something, but he knew it was no use. He dropped his hands to his side and just stood there - waiting for his wife to tell him what to do. After a few moments, Mrs. Johnson returned.
“They have plenty of help, Earl”, she reported. “I offered to make everyone some sandwiches. In a couple of hours you can help me bring them over. Now you just sit down and rest.”
“Yes mother.” Earl often called his wife mother. She actually was a mother, and quite a good one at that, but Earl called her mother because she always seemed to be mothering him. He walked over to his chair and stared out the window. Why did she always need to humiliate him? He just wanted to help with a few boxes, and wish the Millers well. He also didn’t mind rubbing shoulders with the men of his ward. But she had taken that away from him. Earl leaned back, and closed his eyes …
[The rain was coming down in sheets, and the wind howled. Earl stood by the back of the truck handing out large boxes of emergency supplies.]
‘Give these out as quickly as you can! One package per person! And watch for downed power lines!” Earl barked instructions to the volunteers. He had to shout to be heard over the terrible wind. They would be at this all night. Suddenly a young woman ran up to Earl.
‘You have to help me!”, she screamed, “my baby is trapped in our house!” Earl knew he had to go.
“Take over for me here, Dan!”, Earl ordered, “I need to help this woman save her baby.”
“Yes sir!” Dan replied.
“Lead the way!”, Earl instructed the woman. And the two of them ran off into the stormy darkness.
When they arrived at the house, Earl’s heart sank. The house had collapsed so completely that he wondered if anyone inside could still be alive. He ran around to the side of the home, were a broken window offered what might be the only possible entrance. He carefully crawled into what used to be a living room he assumed. He did not know the name of the baby, or how old it was. He called out, “Hello! Anybody here! Hello!”, but there was no answer. He crawled further into the house and tried to listen. It was difficult with the howling wind outside. He cursed himself for not having a flashlight.
He made his way further into the house, and wondered if he was hearing something. It might be the sound of a baby, but it was hard to tell. The sound was coming from his left. He moved toward the sound but did not get far. There was to much debris. He frantically started trying to clear a path to the child. If only he could get there in time!
Earl….Earl…
Earl woke with a gasp, flinging his arms out in front of him. His wife laughed, and apologized for startling him. “It’s time to go Earl, I’ve made the sandwiches. Go put on your jacket and help me carry them to the car”.
“Yes mother”, Earl replied. He stood up and made his way for the closet.





I love this! and if you only knew how many starships I’ve piloted or how many children I’ve snatched up and carried to safety when the 7-Eleven was being robbed … but maybe you do. Earl would know.
Waiting eagerly for III.
Comment # 1 left by Ardis Parshall on September 15th, 2008
Thanks again Ardis. I am no James Thurber, but I thought I would try. I have been daydreaming about a series like this for a while.
Comment # 2 left by Eric Nielson on September 16th, 2008
Thurber couldn’t have caught the Mormon setting of Earl’s reality and his heroic daydream, or the way the one grows so perfectly out of the other. I’d rather read you.
Comment # 3 left by Ardis Parshall on September 16th, 2008
[Eric blushing]
Comment # 4 left by Eric Nielson on September 16th, 2008