Trial and Error
Posted by Michelle on August 25th, 2008I hate not being perfect.
So, I know it’s the plan and all, to learn by our experience, but, you know, sometimes it’s just plain hard.
I have been sorting through some difficult decisions as of late. The kind where I feel like I *really* don’t want to make a mistake (you know that kind, I’m sure, because we all have them). I *thought* I was heading in a good direction, but then I figured out that maybe it wasn’t really the right direction. (Or maybe things had changed and I needed to try a different approach. But still, it can get frustrating to not feel like, “YEAH! This is IT!”) It truly is a line upon line time in my life (you probably know what I mean there, too, because I think we all have those as well).
I have been studying Nephi a lot lately. Like reading and re-reading First Nephi. I even went to a musical during Education Week (thanks to my friend who had an extra ticket), and that got me reflecting on him all the more.
I’ve learned boatloads from Nephi (ha! no pun intended), but here I want to share what I learned this week. I learned that sometimes it takes a few tries to get it right.
And guess what? Maybe that’s ok.
Nephi and his brothers were commanded to go back to Jerusalem to get the plates of brass. (A whole different post could be written on why they weren’t able to get them before they left. The Lord indeed works in mysterious ways, and saving time and effort and reducing pain and struggle is not always His primary purpose for us. Note to self….)
Of course I need not let you know how many times I have read First Nephi. (Who hasn’t? After all, it’s the first chapter in a book we always recommit to reading, right? What’s that joke about First Nephi being the most-oft-read book of scripture?…)
But this time, reading about the three different attempts hit me in a different way than it ever has. (I love the scriptures and how this happens. Often.)
The first two attempts to get the plates really failed quite miserably. The brothers were in physical danger, and ended up losing their property. Laman and Lemuel were not only ready to go back to their father; by the failure of the second attempt, they were angry, and started beating Nephi and Sam.
Yet another post (or many posts) could be written about Nephi’s amazing patience, his faith, his reliance on scripture and on God’s promises to ground him, and the extremely difficult commandment he was eventually given to kill Laban (and how he worked through his initial reaction and the repeated commands he was given). There are amazing lessons in all of these things (and more).
But for now, I wanted to focus on the message that came to me RIGHT when I needed it this week: That sometimes it takes trial and error to figure out what the right solution is. And that’s okay. That didn’t mean that Nephi was evil. It didn’t mean that the Lord wasn’t there. Perhaps it just meant that the Lord gave him room to try a few different things, to exercise his agency, to learn what worked in that situation and what didn’t. And perhaps to learn to rely on the Lord all the more. Because of his faith, Nephi believed that in spite of his weakness, the Lord would guide and help him. And the result of that faith was that he gained some knowledge. He learned more about how God works. He learned that exercising faith is not a vain exercise. He learned a lot about why the scriptures were so important, and he probably learned a little about himself.
But not giving up, he figured out what was Right, and he probably learned a lot more along the way.
This little lesson has caused me to reflect, once again, on the fact that the Lord is there and the Atonement is there so that we don’t have to be perfect on the first try. And even as we trust in Him, we won’t always figure everything out perfectly, but we can get there if we don’t give up and continue to trust in Him. He has given us space and the mercy necessary to learn from trial and error, if we will but “be faithful to him” — to exercise our faith until we have figured out the next step. Sometimes that is all we will be given. One step at a time.
Lead, Kindly Light….
I do not ask to see the distant scene; one step enough for me.
(Hymns, #97)
Thanks Michelle.
It is interesting for me to think and speculate about things like this. So when it comes to obtaining the plates….
How much was Nephi lead by the spirit in each of these attempts? It wasn’t until the last (and successful) attempt that Nephi declares that he was lead by the spirit, not knowing beforehand the things he should do (1Ne 4:6). So one wonders if the previous attempts were not spirit lead, but just decisions. So if the great Nephi sometimes did things that were not spirit lead, what does that say of us, or even church leaders?
I am also interested in patience as a virtue in Nephi. I have often thought of him as sort of impatient. He seems to get right down to business, he seems very bold in how he says things. He seems to loose patience with his older brothers. I have thought of him as a Go! Go! Go! type.
Comment # 1 left by Eric Nielson on August 25th, 2008
So, Eric, what do you think in relation to these questions? I think the Spirit-led aspect of the third attempt is important to note. Elder Hales analyzed these three attempts in a talk he gave. I think one of the lessons of this story is to seek the Spirit in our decisions.
But I am finding that even AS I do that, sometimes I still make mistakes, or sometimes it takes some trial and error and experience to really figure it out. I think it’s not just that we need to seek the Spirit, but that the Lord will let us learn by experience sometimes, and that means that sometimes our decisions, even if Spirit led, may be incomplete, or line upon line, or just another step toward something more certain, complete or whole. And just because we don’t have the whole thing figured out yet, doesn’t mean that we aren’t on the right track. The key is that we CARE and TRUST and are TRYING.
And to me, that kind of heart covers a multitude of things. And that, imo, is something that can be considered with our leaders. We aren’t just supposed to follow them when they have it all perfect. (A key point is that we, in our imperfection, simply can’t know what Perfect looks like, so trying to judge our leaders in such a vacuum is dangerous, if not simply wrong.) We can follow them as they work through and toward the more complete whole, which is a process for each of us individually and for the Church. The Lord provides mercy and sustenance along the way to those who trust Him, and we can do the same for those in our lives (leaders, loved ones, ourselves). His mercy should provide us the ability to have more mercy with others in our lives, particularly when we know they are striving, trusting, and seeking to exercise faith, even as they know they are imperfect. I cannot think of a leader in my lifetime who has not been so striving. If their honest efforts are good enough for the Lord, should they not be good enough for me?
I suppose I may be preaching to the choir, but those are some of my thoughts anyway.
Comment # 2 left by Michelle on August 25th, 2008
I think it is very difficult to be lead by the spirit all the time. Maybe that is just a weakness in my character. But I think being lead by the spirit is a special thing, special because it is often rare. I do not believe God commands in all things, and that his spirit will not always strive with us. I do not think that this necessarily reflects great ‘wickedness’ on the individual who is not constantly lead around by the spirit. The spirit wind bloweth where it listeth, and we can’t force the spirit to tell us what to do with every decision. Sometimes we may have to just make the best decision we can if the voice of the spirit is not clear.
So why do we make mistakes when we feel we are lead by the spirit? I think you have touched on this, but we may often be wrong in labeling something a ‘mistake’. Success is in the eye of the beholder. Maybe some of the things we think of as failures were successes in the eyes of God. Perhaps the proper process is more important than the result. Maybe because of free will, not even God knows every detail about the future, and must rely on a plan B.
Comment # 3 left by Eric Nielson on August 25th, 2008
Well said. All of it. And that is some of what I think the Spirit is teaching me…that the process is SO important. And the lack of getting to the perfect result isn’t necessarily the measure of spiritual success.
And I think you are right. Sometimes we do our best and the Spirit won’t command us always. And maybe that is what happened with Nephi. Who knows? The key is for us to always be seeking His help, keeping ourselves humble and meek, but also being willing to act and trust that if we are truly striving to do our best, then He really does take care of the rest.
From Elder Scott:
Comment # 4 left by Michelle on August 25th, 2008
“sometimes it takes trial and error to figure out what the right solution is. And that’s okay.”
I very much agree with you, Michelle. That’s what agency is all about. I look at other figures in the Book of Mormon who were righteous servants of God and used their agency to choose sometimes less than ideal ways to do the Lord’s will:
- Captain Moroni’s letter to Pahoran is a great example. Moroni seemed to be a bit hot-headed, and he probably apologized personally to Pahoran when he met up with him. But in the end, they worked together to accomplish the Lord’s will in freeing the Nephites from those who would take their freedom.
- Teancum’s killing of Ammoron is another example. Teancum also had a little issue with anger. However, his heroic action helped stop Lamanite agression (although it also cost him his life).
- Also look at Limhi’s efforts to free his people from Lamanite bondage. They tried over and over to think of a solution and even tried some (fighting their way out). Once he and his people finally trusted in the Lord, a means was then devised for them to escape. There was nothing wrong with their efforts to try to escape although it reminds us how important it is to turn to the Lord for help.
I firmly believe that the Plan of Salvation is about our striving to become like the Lord and his helping us up. As long as our efforts are focused on trying to do what is right, I think the Lord will give us a lot of freedom to try to figure things out, and then he’ll apply a generous amount of mercy where we fall short.
Comment # 5 left by david on August 31st, 2008
Mercy is an amazing thing, isn’t it David? The more I ponder and experience the Atonement, the more “I stand all amazed.”
Thanks for your thoughts.
Comment # 6 left by Michelle on September 3rd, 2008