Blogger of Jared

A couple of years ago, Elder David R. Stone gave a powerful and memorable talk about “creating Zion in the midst of Babylon.” He said:

We should not allow ourselves to be engulfed by the culture which surrounds us. We seldom realize the extent to which we are a product of the culture of our place and time….

What an insidious thing is this culture amidst which we live. It permeates our environment, and we think we are being reasonable and logical when, all too often, we have been molded by the ethos, what the Germans call the zeitgeist, or the culture of our place and time….People in every culture move within a cocoon of self-satisfied self-deception, fully convinced that the way they see things is the way things really are.

Our culture tends to determine what foods we like, how we dress, what constitutes polite behavior, what sports we should follow, what our taste in music should be, the importance of education, and our attitudes toward honesty. It also influences men as to the importance of recreation or religion, influences women about the priority of career or childbearing, and has a powerful effect on how we approach procreation and moral issues. All too often, we are like puppets on a string….

There is, of course, a zeitgeist to which we should pay attention, and that is the ethos of the Lord, the culture of the people of God.

The Proclamation and our inspired leaders teach true principles that can guide us in our efforts to embrace and live the “ethos of the Lord.” In this post I would like to examine divine truths relating to the power of procreation.

The zeitgeist of our day defines nearly unrestrained fulfillment of sexual desire as a right and a privilege. Laws protect against crimes of sexual abuse, but very few restraints exist beyond that. Sex is viewed as an individual need to be filled (one that often is used to justify sinful behavior and undermine the virtue of self-control). Selfishness often dominates the pursuit of sexual fulfillment. Exploration of and experimentation with sexual desires and drives is encouraged even in young teens, and is actively pursued by many adults, with no regard for God’s laws. 

Sex is used to sell products from shampoo to sports cars. Of course it has a potent effect on every form of entertainment and the technology of the day. The sacred has become commonplace — even carnal — showcased shamelessly in books, movies, television, and the internet.

In addition, a key element of the power of procreation — procreation itself — is becoming less valued. “Far too many people view marriage as a ‘couples relationship,’ designed to fulfill the…needs of adults rather than an institution for rearing children. Children are considered a choice rather than a blessing.” (Elder M. Russell Ballard). ”[C]hildren are becoming less valued” (President James E. Faust).  ”Satan has chosen to wage war directly at the heart of God’s plan, which is the family. Signs of his attacks are all about us. The proportion of mature adults who are married is declining, as are birth rates” (Elder Russell M. Nelson). “The cultural tides in our world run strongly against commitments in family relationships. For example, divorce has been made legally easy, and childbearing has become unpopular. These pressures against commitments obviously serve the devil’s opposition to the Father’s plan for His children” (Elder Dallin H. Oaks).

Fortunately, we as members of the Church have truths that can help us avoid the zeitgeist of our time, clearly influenced by the adversary, who wants us to be eternally miserable.

The Proclamation states: “God has commanded that the sacred powers of procreation are to be employed only between man and woman, lawfully wedded as husband and wife.”

Elder Jeffrey R. Holland explains why God is unbending on this commandment. He says:

By assigning such seriousness to a physical appetite so universally bestowed, what is God trying to tell us about its place in His plan for all men and women? I submit to you He is doing precisely that—commenting about the very plan of life itself. Clearly among His greatest concerns regarding mortality are how one gets into this world and how one gets out of it. He has set very strict limits in these matters.

Fortunately, in the case of how life is terminated, most seem to be quite responsible. But in the significance of giving life, we sometimes find near-criminal irresponsibility….

We declare that one who uses the God-given body of another without divine sanction abuses the very soul of that individual, abuses the central purpose and processes of life, “the very key” to life, as President Boyd K. Packer once called it. In exploiting the body of another—which means exploiting his or her soul—one desecrates the Atonement of Christ, which saved that soul and which makes possible the gift of eternal life. And when one mocks the Son of Righteousness, one steps into a realm of heat hotter and holier than the noonday sun. You cannot do so and not be burned….

“Ye are not your own,” Paul says. “Ye [have been] bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body, and in your spirit, which are God’s.” [Emphasis in original.] In sexual transgression the soul is at stake—the body and the spirit. 

Elder Holland explains further why it is that the power of procreation is only to be used within a marriage.

[H]uman intimacy is reserved for a married couple because it is the ultimate symbol of total union, a totality and a union ordained and defined by God. From the Garden of Eden onward, marriage was intended to mean the complete merger of a man and a woman—their hearts, hopes, lives, love, family, future, everything. Adam said of Eve that she was bone of his bones and flesh of his flesh, and that they were to be “one flesh” in their life together. This is a union of such completeness that we use the word seal to convey its eternal promise. The Prophet Joseph Smith once said we perhaps could render such a sacred bond as being “welded” one to another.

But such a total union, such an unyielding commitment between a man and a woman, can only come with the proximity and permanence afforded in a marriage covenant, with solemn promises and the pledge of all they possess—their very hearts and minds, all their days and all their dreams.

Can you see the moral schizophrenia that comes from pretending you are one, pretending you have made solemn promises before God, sharing the physical symbols and the physical intimacy of your counterfeit union but then fleeing, retreating, severing all such other aspects of what was meant to be a total obligation?…

Can you understand why the First Presidency and Council of the Twelve Apostles would issue a proclamation declaring that “the means by which mortal life is created [is] divinely appointed” and that “the sacred powers of procreation are to be employed only between man and woman, lawfully wedded as husband and wife”? Don’t be deceived and don’t be destroyed. Unless such powers are controlled and commandments kept, your future may be burned; your world could go up in flames. Penalty may not come on the precise day of transgression, but it comes surely and certainly enough. And unless there is true repentance and obedience to a merciful God, then someday, somewhere, the morally cavalier and unclean will pray like the rich man who wished Lazarus to “dip … his finger in water, and cool my tongue; for I am tormented in this flame.”

The law of chastity exists not only to protect the souls of the individuals who engage in sexual relationships, but also is designed for the benefit of children. The Proclamation states that “Children are entitled to birth within the bonds of matrimony, and to be reared by a father and a mother who honor marital vows with complete fidelity.”

Noteworthy are the rights of children in God’s plan, where in the zeitgeist of society, little if any consideration is made for the effect that immoral behavior has on children. Note also how infidelity violates those rights. It’s tragic how broken laws of God often lead to broken homes – and broken hearts. 

The Proclamation also reminds us that a key purpose of marriage is to bring children into the world. “The first commandment that God gave to Adam and Eve pertained to their potential for parenthood as husband and wife. We declare that God’s commandment for His children to multiply and replenish the earth remains in force.”

I recently did an extensive post on this topic, so I won’t expound more on that here.

There is one last sentence from the Proclamation I want to focus on. ”We declare the means by which mortal life is created to be divinely appointed.”

I wonder given our sex-saturated culture if we sometimes allow some of the twisted perspectives on sexuality to creep into our consciousness and into our relationships. Do we ever let selfishness dictate our thoughts, actions, and desires? Rather than bring us together in unity with our spouse, does intimacy sometimes become a dividing wedge? Are we allowing impure entertainment, thoughts, or habits to invade the sacred space of our homes and hearts? Any of these things can distort our view on sacred sexuality. 

To help us keep a Zion-like spirit in this aspect of life, let’s review some of the spiritual blessings of the means and power of procreation.

First, the power of procreation presents an opportunity for a husband and wife to tap into divine power. Elder Jeffrey R. Holland said:

[P]hysical intimacy is…symbolic of a shared relationship between [a husband and wife] and their Father in Heaven. He is immortal and perfect. We are mortal and imperfect. Nevertheless we seek ways even in mortality whereby we can unite with Him spiritually. In so doing we gain some access to both the grace and the majesty of His power….[O]f all the titles God has chosen for Himself, Father is the one He favors most, and creation is His watchword—especially human creation, creation in His image. You and I have been given something of that godliness….

Secondly, the procreative process can only take place when a man and a woman come together in a (as the Proclamation declares) “divinely appointed” way. Even the wonders of science that have expanded the opportunity of procreation to those who face the challenge of infertility require the perfect union of two separate, different, divinely-created cells, one from a man and one from a woman. Neither person can create alone. Neither person can (or should) pursue sexual fulfillment alone. Sexuality is designed to bring a husband and wife together as “one flesh.”

As such, Elder Holland reminded us above that marital intimacy exists as

the ultimate symbol of total union, a totality and a union ordained and defined by God. From the Garden of Eden onward, marriage was intended to mean the complete merger of a man and a woman—their hearts, hopes, lives, love, family, future, everything…with solemn promises and the pledge of all they possess—their very hearts and minds, all their days and all their dreams.

The greatest blessings God has for the faithful (including eternal increase) can only come to a husband and wife, unified, together, complete. The intimate marital relationship can remind us of these truths, and remind us what our day-to-day lives should be like.

As such, marital intimacy should be the consummate act of an equal partnership. President Hinckley has said that husbands and wives should live “with respect, appreciation and love for one another. There can be nothing of inferiority or superiority between the husband and wife in the plan of the Lord.” If this is true in our day-to-day lives, surely this should be true in the intimate relationship between spouses. A Zion-like marriage simply has no room for selfishness, domination, inappropriate demands, or any other unrighteous dominion, either by the husband or the wife.

I liked this quote (although not from an official source, I believe it reflects gospel principles well):

… Paul noted, “Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence: and likewise also the wife unto the husband. The wife hath not power of her own body, but the husband: and likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife” (1 Cor. 7:3-4). Thus, physical intimacy is a blessing to married couples when it is an expression of their mutual benevolence and commitment to each other’s well-being, an affirmation of their striving to be emotionally and spiritually one. The key in sexual matters is unselfishness. Self-centered pursuit of physical desire is destructive of the unity and love that characterize healthy marital relations. Such love or charity is long-suffering, kind, not envious, does “not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not [one’s] own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil” (1 Cor. 13:4-5), and is compatible with the Light of Christ, which directs all in the ways of righteousness.

I believe that as we seek to understand the divinity of all pure and holy aspects of the power of procreation, approach marital intimacy not only as a physical but also a spiritual act, and take seriously the “solemn responsibility [spouses have] to love and care for each other,” this power and heavenly gift can contribute to a Zion-like marriage and family life.