At-one-ment: The Gift of Reconciliation
Posted by Michelle on April 6th, 2007
I had a wonderful opportunity to catch up with a good friend last night. We sat on her front porch and talked while the children played to their hearts’ content.
She shared with me the joy of her new marriage and how the Lord had brought her and her husband together. After a painfully difficult, but necessary, divorce, she had thought she would not be able to open her heart again. But the Lord gave her a wonderful man who waited patiently until she was ready to let Him help her love once more.
My friend also shared with me a tender story of reconciliation. As is perhaps not surprising, part of the disaster that ended her marriage was infidelity. To make matters worse, one of the mistresses was a good friend. She spoke of the anger, the pain, even the dread of seeing this woman. But one day, the Spirit whispered to her that her I’m-going-shopping-on-a-whim outing that day would bring her face-to-face with this woman. She even felt the Spirit directing her where to stand in the store so they could cross paths. [Sidenote: If you knew you would come face-to-face with an “enemy,” would you follow the Spirit? I was touched that she did.]
Sure enough, the “dreaded” moment came. For an instant, she was tempted to let the woman pass without acknowledgement. But then the Spirit washed over her, and she felt an overwhelming feeling of love — the Lord’s love — for her estranged friend. My friend called out; the two women embraced, wept, apologized, and left feeling a healing.
This story brought tears to my eyes and caused me to reflect on the power of the Atonement - not only to reconcile us to God, but to each other as well. As we listen to and heed the promptings of the Spirit, just as my friend did, He will give us power and ability beyond our own to find peace and reconciliation in our relationships.
So much of what we heard in General Conference taught us about what we can do to put ourselves in a position to receive the gift of reconciliation in our lives. We heard about the need to repent (”this day,” not someday), which also implies complete conversion to the Savior; the need for kind words and bridling our tongues; the need to cleave to our covenants (especially in marriage). The list could go on and on.
What is the purpose of all the counsel we receive? It is to point our souls to Christ and to seek to be more like Him. It is to open our lives to the healing power of the Atonement through the gift of the Holy Ghost.
Who doesn’t need that healing power? We all experience the pain of scarred relationships. People say and do things that break our hearts, disrupt our lives, and test our limits. In spite of that, the Lord commands us to “be one,” — at one, if you will. He knows, however, that it is only through his Atonement that this is possible.
President Faust taught us much last Sunday about how we can open ourselves up to the blessings of the Atonement:
The Savior has offered to all of us a precious peace through His Atonement, but this can come only as we are willing to cast out negative feelings of anger, spite, or revenge. For all of us who forgive “those who trespass against us,” even those who have committed serious crimes, the Atonement brings a measure of peace and comfort.
Let us remember that we need to forgive to be forgiven. In the words of one of my favorite hymns, “Oh, forgive as thou wouldst be e’en forgiven now by me.” With all my heart and soul, I believe in the healing power that can come to us as we follow the counsel of the Savior “to forgive all men.”
President Faust quotes a wise bishop, acknowledging that sometimes what we are able to do is “‘Keep a place in your heart for forgiveness, and when it comes, welcome it in.’” The key is to have an open, softened heart, willing to look to and seek to follow the Lord.
Elder Eyring taught:
Our Heavenly Father wants our hearts to be knit together. That union in love is not simply an ideal. It is a necessity….
The Holy Ghost is a sanctifier. We can have it as our companion because the Lord restored the Melchizedek Priesthood through the Prophet Joseph Smith. The keys of that priesthood are on the earth today. By its power we can make covenants which allow us to have the Holy Ghost constantly.
Where people have that Spirit with them, we may expect harmony. The Spirit puts the testimony of truth in our hearts, which unifies those who share that testimony. The Spirit of God never generates contention (see 3 Ne. 11:29). It never generates the feelings of distinctions between people which lead to strife (see Joseph F. Smith, Gospel Doctrine, 13th ed. [1963], 131). It leads to personal peace and a feeling of union with others. It unifies souls. A unified family, a unified Church, and a world at peace depend on unified souls. [The whole talk is worth quoting. I encourage you to read it in its entirety.]
During this Easter season, as we reflect on the wonder of the Atonement and the resurrection, I pray we may all strive for “new life” in our hearts and in our relationships, by doing all we can do to invite the healing gift of reconciliation into our lives.
As I write this, the day of Christ’s birth as we know it to be is drawing to a close. I am reminded of a wonderful quote by President Hunter that was shared as Christmastime, but I think it’s appropriate at this special time of year as well (and something to seek to do all year long):
This [Easter], mend a quarrel. Seek out a forgotten friend. Dismiss suspicion and replace it with trust. Write a letter. Give a soft answer. Encourage youth. Manifest your loyalty in word and deed. Keep a promise. Forgo a grudge. Forgive an enemy. Apologize. Try to understand. Examine your demands on others. Think first of someone else. Be kind. Be gentle. Laugh a little more. Express your gratitude. Welcome a stranger. Gladden the heart of a child. Take pleasure in the beauty and wonder of the earth. Speak your love and then speak it again.
[Easter] is a celebration, and there is no celebration that compares with the realization of its true meaning—with the sudden stirring of the heart that has extended itself unselfishly in the things that matter most.
This post is as much for me as for anyone. I often have a hard time letting go and moving on when I have felt pain from someone else’s actions or words. But I have also experienced the incredible sweetness that comes from the Savior’s At-one-ment — a sweetness that brings me closer to God but also fills me with His love, helping draw me closer to those around me. This has come as I have made efforts to change and repent, and also others have extended an opened heart to me as they have sought forgiveness and reconciliation. (Is there a better gift we could give each other?) As we seek to do this, the Lord can heal our hearts, our lives, and our relationships.
It is my hope that we can all do a little more to heed the counsel we receive from the Lord (through scriptures, prophets and the Spirit), to invite the power of the Lord’s Atonement into our lives, and to thus enjoy (and offer!) the gift of reconciliation through the Savior’s love and power – a gift that can knit our hearts together in unity and love and thus allow us to be His.
As a postscript: The gift of reconciliation doesn’t necessarily mean that we will have painful patterns magically disappear, or suddenly have no differences of opinion, or even want to have a close friendship (as was the case with my friend, who felt a close friendship would be difficult to have with the woman mentioned). We are imperfect beings and will still continue to make mistakes and hurt one another. We are also individuals with different experiences, biologies and so forth. But the more we invite the power of the Atonement into our lives, the less we will seek our own, the more kind we will be, the less easily provoked we will find ourselves… (see Moroni 7:45). We will more easily be able to look beyond our differences and seek to reach out to one another in love and a desire for understanding. We will rejoice in our shared desires for peace. We will act less out of self-protection and self-interest and more out of a desire for the good of others. It’s all a process, but progress toward true unity is possible through the Atonement and our desires to be more like the Savior…to love more as the Savior loves, to understand more as the Savior understands, to be more as the Savior is.
Comment # 1 left by Michelle on April 7th, 2007
Michelle, thank you for highlighting these quotes and for writing your friend’s experience and your insights. This “mending of fences” is one of the hardest things we have to do, but also one of the most important. Reading your post helped me to feel more open to this striving for unity.
Comment # 2 left by Mary A on April 7th, 2007
Here is a thought for the season of Easter.
Around five years ago I was traveling through Florida on what I thought was my business trip, however I found that God also had His business to be attended to. I was in the hotel room in the Lakeland area and found after my devotional time with the three God heads, Jesus Christ, Heavenly Father and Holy Spirit. The soft quiet voice of God spoke to my heart and He had a message for a well known pastor/ evangelist in the area. I was not familiar with this pastor myself but I was faithful to write down the words dictated to me by the different GodHeads.
I believe it was Jesus as I remember in this case. After writing down the words in a letter form and then calling different prayer intessors of different denominations to see if the Holy Spirit confirmed the words to be of God to them for this man. And after testing “the word” given by 1 John 4, test of Beloved believe not every spirit.I was assured it was from God.
I THEN was told to deliver it to the evangelist. I went to their office and asked for their head intessor, to deliver the mail to. As it turned out the head intessor was in truth his own mother and the “word” was well recieved as from God.
I was in a hurry to leave after my work was done . But I was invited to stay for the revival service that was going on that night. Now mind you it was around 10:30 A.M. when I had arrived at the church office, through with the delivery of the “mail” around 12:30P.M. and the service was to start around 7:00P.M. I really just wanted to be on my way. I said I was grateful for the invitation but I would be on my way. However God had, one more time, other plans. As soon as I turned down the offer the heavens opened up and it started to rain with such furry I had no choice but to stay in the building. I then asked God what He wanted me to do. He wanted me to stay.
I was there all day. So I had the oppertunity to see what type of fellowship this group of believers was. They were kind, considerate to me, to others and eachother. I saw the fruits of the Spirit living in these people.
It was refreshing as many times during this type of work for God I run into sad, empty, lonely people trying to “wear” Christ and love Him. But the fruits of his existance in them is not there or should I say visable. I am not judging the people just saying what is appearent in their actions and reactions.
Well there I was all day long so I tried to make myself busy in doing some of my paperwork. Early evening rolled around and this fellowship had collage credit religion classes available to their followers. I was asked to sit on the otherside of a large heavy curtain for the school classes to be over before the revival services due to start within the hour.
I thought, Oh Good ! I will get to hear some good things about God and grow along with the students. I love God’s people and love to be with them if even for only a few hours at a time while on the road.
I can remember this as though it were yesterday.
The young woman with the beautiful accent was encouraging the adult collage students to be like Jesus. She said what would Jesus do? You MUST be like Jesus. This was during the season of people wearing the What would Jesus do bracelets and jewlery, etc.
As I am listening to the cless with joy in my heart
I “hear” the voice of the Holy Spirit say very clearly that it was arrogant for people to think that they could be “like” divinity. I thought, how could this be God speaking to me? It sounded radical and weird. But when I tested the spirit, it was God. He went on to say, “You can not be “like” God, but you MUST ask Him to “LIVE” in you. Abide in you and HIM , Jesus, speak, think, feel, live and do “His” works,
THROUGH YOU as the believer and bride. Him “The Bridegroom” you the bride. Then it is by you asking Him to do His works through you and Him living in you and Him being invited every day in this relationship. Like the new manna was required every day and every day you ask for your daily bread. Remember He is our daily bread. The communion also reflects this.You the believer laying down your life for him to live through you and use your body. Then it is His glory and His work and not yours. Works vs/ grace. Your works and trying to be good,
( we can never be good enough, our goodness is like filthy rags to God)
like Christ vs/ Him doing the works through your submitted body and soul. Interesting! I thought.
Holy Spirit said this was part of the work of conforming the human into the image of Christ.
The New walk. The Bridal walk. Christ coming in “Spirit” and “truth” not in the flesh as He did a little over 2000 years ago.
I did not intend to stumble onto this blog site today April 7,2007, as I am again on the road, in California this time. And yep you guessed it !
With more mail to another preacher/ evangelist. Some of the mail is not good news to the reciever but this is the nature of the job. Some good news and some bad news.
Thank you for allowing me to share my heart, Lots of love and blessings to God’s people. Love and forgiveness and do not judge is God’s main messages as well as His need for personal love songs sung to Him in private. In the shower, in the back yard, in the car, in your head. For His ears ONLY.
Comment # 3 left by Paul on April 7th, 2007
Thank you for the thoughts this Easter Season.
Comment # 4 left by Barb on April 7th, 2007
Comment # 5 left by rafael on June 18th, 2008